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Middlenite

by Phoebe Troup

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1.
Windogame 06:10
In a dream you had, come to me n’ said Remember the time you slipped? How you lost your feet, to the silver street And the knees of your stockings ripped God u make a game, of my window frame You come in like I used to leave When the air was sweet, and the grass was cheap Because we were both 17 When I’m fast asleep do you have to keep Don’t bother me When the morning Has yet to pass my lips We want the sway Of the curtains Not what the edges let slip Thought you’d come in Unnoticed Small in the blue of dawn I have got plenty To dream of Without having you to think on In a dream you had, come to me n’ said Isn’t it time we slipped? When I’m fast asleep, do you have to keep Coming around like this God, u make a game of my window frame Don’t bother me When the morning Has yet to pass my lips We want the sway Of the curtains Not what the edges let slip Thought you’d come in Unnoticed Small in the blue of dawn I have got plenty To dream of Without having you to think on
2.
Worm Dance 03:34
When I wake up at night, I gather to myself All kinds of things, not least the sheets The silver silence and the boxes on my shelf They do not speak, not least to me And then the moon appears, across my pearly shell I could not cry, not if I tried You’re all the same you know, so this is just as well The night is dry, I’m calcified I’ll roll the carpet out silver across The surface of the lake Come here and meet me if you can walk The ribbon of my wake “No thanks”, I tell the moon, “got nothing left to say” Said it all up, to my own feet When I wake up at night, then I just eke away Faces of the people I meet If something feels better than being alone I’ll be last to know There’s too many people to hurry past Too much smoke to blow I go out to the store, I do not have to buy Things that you would ask me to get No tinned tomatoes or the cans of beer you like Nothing much else like this I bet If something feels better than being alone I’ll be last to know There’s too many people to hurry past Too much smoke to blow
3.
Sun Song 01:51
“O, but if I could get rid of it all,” said the sun to the moon when the night came to fall, “all the rooftops and chimneys and all of those things, in the bright part of morning when the first sparrow sings.” “O, but if I could just scrape from the ground all the miles of concrete that carry around all the motorcars making their way between the seas leave the mountains and meadows to do as they please.” “O, but if I could drink the rivers clean give the birds and the bears more than space inbetween tell all the tall buildings to go back to bed, let the poor chopped-up farm fields be forests instead.” Well the moon told the sun she would help if she could But a mouthful of brickwork tastes worse than it should She said I will admit I have thought to myself If we wait just a bit it will swallow itself
4.
In the rain, I go home under something empty cups, or the usual feeling somebody turns to me, honey I think that you should probably be leaving godspeed, safe walk, I’ll talk to you in the morning and it’s right towards the end of the evening little hands in my head start to hold things things that I could never need, your things, books and broken keyrings hot on these palms, like a pot handle burning yeah it's right, at the end of the evening when The Thought turns around to The Feeling “it’s late, I’d hate, for you to keep me from my sleeping- Godspeed, safe walk, i’ll talk to you in the morning In the rain, I go home under something weather or, just the tree leaves talking one of them turns to me honey he thinks of you like you’re a beesting I stop, just watch raindrops melt into my skin
5.
In the only village hall, wearing snakeskin boots Stones that chip the smooth well wall, on their way as fruits In the larch pine soak and stew, how sharp have you slipped As if, silver-buttered you, tacked to jacket rips On the floor so imagine all the first fine tufts Of a golden blanket in leaves and linking cuffs Windfall apples in some ranks, pockmarking the grass So quivers the foam at banks, flows the stream at last
6.
Brown by the autumn, I was green all the same But I knew I’d be going the minute I came. Against the wall the rose and the thorn Know they have risen where they were born The last thing I want to do Feels like the first one too I sing a different tune As we move from room to room Also, the ocean Seems so much bigger Every time I look at your picture I’m sure I’d drop the Same line on the other side If I’m supposed to grow up - where do I do it? If I knew where the shore was, I’m sure I’d swim to it Oh, colorado, do I need your mountains? If I’m gonna find the right thing to get lost in The last thing I want to do Feels like the first one, too I sing a different tune As we move from moon to moon Also, the ocean Seems so much bigger Every time I look at your picture I’m sure I’d drop the Same line on the other side What do you think of me by the window? (I love a trainride as much as the next girl) Also the motion Makes me feel smoother Down on the platform I’m just a loser Rushing a suitcase on to the next great thing
7.
I met Jonny midnite melting in the half light said you don’t need to feel alright to catch up with an appetite I don’t always feel fine flinching in the half time I try too hard to make things mine I tangle up in fishing line When Jonny’s gone d’you think I will have learned my lesson? I don’t want your answer I would rather keep guessing Quit telling people to count their blessings I’ve yet to walk in on the emperor dressing I asked Jon a question he can’t seem to put to bed I cannot take a lover Who cannot take what’s in my head how come all the neighbours take their cup of sugar down to where they dump it in the local river don’t we know we’re making that water sweeter so it can flow to a richer man’s pasture? then I was a pearl bead sliding on to daystrings but I don’t need to learn to sing to make the noise of everything When Jonny’s gone d’you think I will have learned my lesson? I don’t want an answer I would rather keep guessing hey don’t remind us to count our blessings I’ve yet to walk in on the emperor dressing Jonny, take and plant this Underneath our last kiss Cos someone taught you to notice the way I look in my dress
8.
In the only village hall, wearing snakeskin boots Stones that chip the smooth well wall, on their way as fruits In the larch pine soak and stew, how sharp have you slipped As if, silver-buttered you, tacked to jacket rips On the floor so imagine all the first fine tufts Of a golden blanket in leaves and linking cuffs Windfall apples in some ranks, pockmarking the grass So quivers the foam at banks, flows the stream at last
9.
Back when the earth was young / the snake in your lung Told you what songs were sung / what lutes you would strum Your team’s got tupperware full of the fights you have won Keeping the past in your pocket’s not my kind of fun Eyes on the bathroom floor / a stick in my hand Of the department store / a fire and a brand I saw a face in the tiles and a line in the sand I saw my body and couldn’t tell where it would land Give the roles I’ve won Give me the holes I’ve poked in the sun Anthropocene hear me Are we in a time capsule back to our knees Like the waves scorn the beach / an onion in bloom June makes a wish on each / the hairs in my loom All of the futures that could’ve taken hold of you Shrinkable dunes rolling over and into the blue Give me my body back It’s non-negotiable, sing the belfry bats Anthropocene, hear me Are we in a time capsule back to our knees

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released March 14, 2023

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Phoebe Troup Norwich, UK

Phoebe Troup is a British-American songwriter.

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